SELF-NUMBING ALL THE WAY ...
I think I’m deteriorating, but I find myself not caring. Should I be worried? Should I call for help? Should I just keep quiet and let it pass when it does? I mean, I know it always passes. I just detest the whole, somewhat painful process. The newly-stoic beings will probably tell me that it’s only in my head. It’s just my self-projection, right? The ghosts of my past are not real. They never have been. I must be the crazy one here, like they’ve always said. Maybe. Maybe not. I don’t know. I don’t want to think about that right now. So here I am again – self-numbing myself all the way. Is it cruel of me for wanting to take a break from my own feelings? Am I wicked for feeling tired of caring – especially way too much? Right now, I just want to stop caring ... like once again. R.